Journey

Life has gotten hectic crazy. Im in a place I never thought I would be. My husband (only been married since Christmas day 2024), he's been my best friend for 30+ year. The only man I've ever loved in my almost 50 years. He was my first love. I have loved him for the entirety of my life. I left him on the 4th okay. It broke me to do so. But apparently evidently it's was for the best. He started getting emotionally abusive.  Started watching videos and looking up things that I am not comfortable with.  Young is 18-20ish in comprising situations, compromising states of un dress. When I told him about how I dont approve and please not to watch. He says I can help what Facebook pops up. Sorry darling that's not how algorithms work. You have to search, watch or interact with such content to have it pop up. Then he proceeded to tell me he didn't even woth proof. So alas it was time to leave. Its killing me so much. But if he cant respect me or our marriage what's the point. It feels like I'm drowning in grief. I cant imagine I'm ever going to be ok again. He's fucked me up so emotionally.  And I still love him.